Easter Wienerbration and April Fool's Poo

It's good to be a Vander Werff on certain occasions. One of those occasions is on Easter, when we have what has become the Annual Wiener Toss. After the kids finish with the candy hunt, Uncle Greg (my brother) throws hot dogs off his balcony at the kids below. They might be raw, they might be cooked- you never know what you're going to get. I don't know if there's anything funnier than watching the kids run after hot dogs being thrown at them from above. We can't decide what to call it: the Annual Throwing of the Meat, the Annual Wiener Toss, the Easter Wienerbration? They all sound so nice, I think we should just use them interchangeably.

See? Some cooked, most not.  It's a bucket o' surprises, I tell you!

Nothin' like an Easter basket full of candy and raw wieners! Look at that happy kid!

On April Fool's Day, the day after the Annual Wiener Toss, I had devised a brilliant April Fool's joke to play on the kids. Since we got a puppy, we have had the pleasure of finding poo in random places in the house. It's gross and I hate it, and I have been tempted to kill the dog, or worse, give it away to someone at Walmart. Anyhoo, it's gotten better, but it did provide a platform for my April Fool's joke.

We had a movie night with our neighbors and I baked some brownies. During the movie, I rolled up a brownie into a few little pieces, and they looked exactly like dog poo. I put the brownie poo in the next room, and a few minutes later "discovered" it, and started yelling at everyone that I was going to kill the dog and so on. Everyone came into the room, and Nils asked, "whose turn is it to clean up poo?" The kids all insisted that it was none of their turns, so I said, "Fine, I'll clean it up." I bent down and picked up the brownie poo with my bare hands and slowly put it in my mouth. The grown-up neighbors knew about it, and Nils was in on it, but all the kids were totally fooled.

It may have been one of the greatest moments of my life, watching all those children with their jaws on the floor, thinking that their mother/crazy neighbor lady was eating dog poo. I said, "Hmm, not bad!" Then Nils picked up a couple pieces and ate them. It was great.

Ava asked me for the next two days why I ate poo. Poor, confused girl. Best April Fool's joke ever.

How to get through Sacrament Meeting

I found this list a few weeks ago as I was cleaning out my church bag. This is Addie's guide to Sacrament Meeting. I'm so glad she was able to check so many off during the course of the meeting. This kid cracks me up. I really wonder what's going on in that head of hers sometimes, and love it when I get physical evidence of her funny self.

(^Jason the Egg on a Minecraft pig. ^)

What I've been watching and reading

TV Shows:

I started watching BBC's Sherlock several months ago. I was completely enraptured. I think it's one of the best shows I've seen. There aren't very many episodes, and even though they're 90 minutes long each, it didn't take very long for me to watch all 6 of them. I was sad when I was done. I've seen stuff on Facebook and Pinterest about Doctor Who, and I know a couple of people who are devoted fans. I was hesitant to watch it, because what I had heard of it sounded weird and nerdy.

In desperation for something to get me through my Sherlock withdrawals, I asked a trusted friend if she had watched Doctor Who and what she thought of it. Her words: "Once you get past the weird crap, and aliens eating people, I kinda liked it." Then she told me about her crush on David Tennant (who plays the Doctor for 3 seasons) and how she's in mourning over him not being the Doctor anymore, and I just had to see what all the fuss was about.

So, over the last 4 months or so, I've been watching Doctor Who while I run on the treadmill, and yes. Once you get past the weird crap, and aliens eating people, I kinda like it. I actually really like it. I don't like aliens and all of that, but I LURVE the Doctor, especially David Tennant as the Doctor. There is a good reason that this show has been on the air for 50 years- there's something weird and unexplainable that sucks you in. It's not the aliens, because they're gross. It's the adorable Doctor and his friends that make you care about them. Endure the 1st season (of the new Doctor Who, which starts in 2005), which is campy and weird, but you get to know the premise and characters; then the 2nd season is when it starts getting good, and when you start looking up David Tennant on Wikipedia to see if he's married. It gets better and better as the seasons pass, I assure you.

Nils and I have been watching Friday Night Lights for a year or so, and we're almost done with the series. It's EXCELLENT. Trust me. It seems like it's about football, but it's not really.

We need something else to watch, so if you have any suggestions, feel free to pass them along- and yes, we have watched Downton Abbey. Dang that Matthew.

Books:

"Stoner" by John Williams. It's about a college professer and his ordinary, kind of sad life, but I didn't find the book sad. I thoroughly enjoyed it. The writing is fantastic. No, he's not a stoner. That's his last name, silly.

"Life of Pi" by Yann Martel. I listened to this book, which I recommend, as the narrator does a fantastic job. I really enjoyed it. Read the book before you see the movie.

"The Secret Keeper" by Kate Morton. Very good, mysterious story, and a very commendable twist at the end. It's in keeping with her other books, set in England, goes back and forth between the past and present.

"The Distant Hours" by Kate Morton. Ditto to the above. Good book.

"The House at Riverton" by Kate Morton. I didn't really like this one. When I was 300 pages into it, I started wondering when something was going to happen. Just lots of lamenting, fretting about the past, blah blah blah. Then the book finally ends, and the big "twist" is really anti-climatic.

"Ready Player One" by Ernest Cline. I listened to this one- a lot of language, including the f-bomb, but the story is quite compelling. Set in the future, where the world is basically in shambles- people spend their whole lives in virtual reality to escape it. There's a contest, a teenage kid wins... the story of how he does it. It's really nerdy and video-game centered, but it's an interesting commentary on obsession with the online world.

"The Red Prophet" by Orson Scott Card. This is the second book on the "Alvin Maker" series. I listened to this one, as well. It was pretty good. Nils has finished this series and really liked it. I'd recommend listening to them, as I find reading them pretty tedious. The narrators definitely help with that.

Feel free to send along any book recommendations as well. I like lots of genres, just no vampires, por favor.

Puppy, Pancakes, Baptism

We picked up our puppy on January 19. I was terrified. What the heck do you do with a puppy? The first week or so, I was sure we had made a terrible mistake. Getting up with the dog in the middle of the night was not something I enjoyed. Puppies bite everything all the time, including hands, fingers, feet and toes. I didn't like that. For some reason, it didn't occur to me that I would be the one with this puppy 95% of the time. I don't know why that reality eluded me, but it did. Long story short, we've had the dog for nearly 6 weeks now, and she's still alive, I'm still alive, and I'm pretty sure we'll keep her. Her name is Pip. She stalks me. The kids love her to pieces, which I think is why she stalks me. I rescue her from choke-holds on a regular basis.

On Valentine's Eve, Anders said he thought I should get up and make everyone heart shaped pancakes for breakfast the next morning. I said, "Maybe YOU should get up and make ME heart shaped pancakes in the morning." (I'm so nice.) He did. Isn't that cute? He even colored them pink. Speaking of Valentine's Day, I have drawn a new conclusion about the day: if I want to have any sort of tender feelings for my children on Valentine's Night, I can't do school parties during the day. I did two parties back-to-back for Addie and Aani in their classes, and when I got home, I was totally wiped. Once again, I had hoped to have a love-filled dinner, but I was so tired! I did really well to get dinner on the table.

For the 100th day of school, the 2nd graders are encouraged to dress up like a 100-year old. I sprayed Addie's hair white and put it in a bun. She used a huge shoe horn for a cane, and wore some of Nils' old glasses. She was talking like a little old lady and cracking me up. Addie's always good for a laugh.

Addie was baptized this month. It was very sweet. She acted kind of unsure in the weeks leading up to her baptism, and when we finally got to the bottom of it, she was nervous about everyone looking at her. She did really well and was very happy on her baptism day. She's really a great girl. She's naturally conscientious and responsible. Of all our kids, she rarely has to be asked twice to do something. She hardly argues. It's weird and wonderful. She's a total goof-ball. We love our Addie Paige.

2 Saturdays, 2 Birthday Parties WHAT??

Every January, I mention the extended birthday situation we have here. I mention it because it's traumatic for me. We just get done with Christmas, and 11 days later it's time to start shopping and planning again. I'm not one who loves to plan parties or events. I see these pictures online of people who pretty much plan a wedding reception for their 1-year old's birthday party, and I need a Valium. 

My purpose for documenting this is that I would like to congratulate us on giving Anders and Addie birthday parties on back to back Saturdays. Good job, us. 

Anders' birthday was just a couple of days after the kids went back to school from Christmas break, so he wouldn't have had enough time to pass out invitations at school. We were able to do evites to all his friends, which actually worked out great. 

We had the boys come over for lunch- pizza, what else?

We played Minute-to-Win-it games. It was fun for about 15 minutes, which was problematic, because that's pretty much all we had planned for activities. Heh-heh.

We made a Minecraft cake, due to Anders' obsession with the game. No one was all that impressed with the cake. We tried, okay?

After cake and presents, we still had about 20 minutes until parents started coming, so all the boys gathered together to play Minecraft on our phones, Kindles and iPad. They were all linked together and totally into it, and Nils and I just sat on the couch and shrugged our shoulders.

Anders had a great time and was very happy. Mission accomplished.

The next week it was Addie's turn. Nils made the invitations cuz he's got the skillz. I told him what to say, and he did the rest. Cute, eh?

We had dinner- Hawaiian haystacks, which is Addie's all-time favorite food. 

Then we tried to watch a movie, which we rented from Amazon online. It didn't work. I don't know if it was our internet connection, our TV, or if Amazon's streaming service just isn't that great, but it would play for 30 seconds and freeze up. So annoying.  BUT! Shrinky Dinks to the rescue! We pulled out those suckers, and that kept the girls occupied for over an hour. Tons of fun.

When the girls were done with shrinky dinks, they ran around the house screaming and having pillow fights. Again, we just looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders.

When I asked Addie what kind of cake she wanted, she said, "Um, could I maybe have a rectangle cake with those candy letters on it?" I was like, "Yes. And you are my favorite child right now." 

I resurrected Heavy Heavy Hangover Thy Poor Head. No one knew what this was. Please tell me you know what this is. The birthday kid has to wish something for each guest after they bonk her on the head with their present. 

We got Addie a new bike, which she can look forward to riding in three months. Ah, the joys of a January birthday. 

By the time the end of Addie's party came, I felt great relief, and we collapsed in bed about 30 minutes later. 

I'm thankful for Anders and Addie. They're great kids. They get along really well and are good friends; I hope that continues forever. Both of their rooms are downstairs, and when I go to wake them up in the morning, more often than not they're both sleeping in the same room. They like to write stories together (Addie is the author and Anders is the illustrator). They like doing crafty junk together and make incredible messes. They both like the same silly books, like Captain Underpants and Diary of a Wimpy Kid, and will read those and laugh and laugh. 

They're also crazy and drive me nuts sometimes, but mostly I love them.

Yes it was manipulation, but it was totally worth it.

Two things:

1. Addie hasn't told us she loves us in about three years.

2. We (Nils and I) decided about a month ago that we are ready to get a dog.

Long story short on #1, when I had Ava, Addie had a really hard time and was mad at me. She stopped telling me she loved me. This was, of course, horrifying to me and I took it personally and tried to pyscho-analyze her and define love for her, etc. etc. Over the last few years it has spread from me to everyone else. It probably sounds awful, but it's been long enough that now it's practically a family joke. Addie is a fantastic kid. She's sweet, funny, smart, largely cooperative, cuddly and extremely stubborn. This is a child that can't be forced or bribed. If I want to know how her day was, I can't ask her because she won't tell me. But, if she's sitting at the table or helping me while I'm cooking dinner, she'll talk my head off and I'll find out lots and lots of details.

So, Addie doesn't say "I love you", but she will say, "I really, really like you". Whatevs. We take what we can get. We look forward to the day that she realizes breaking her stubborn streak won't kill her.

#2 We bought a puppy. The litter is now about 4 weeks old, so it won't be ready to come live with us until mid-January. We decided to wrap up some dog paraphernalia and have the kids unwrap it as a Christmas surprise. Nils and I have been very excited, and it was hard to keep it a secret, but we managed, sorta. We have made it abundantly clear over the years that we will not be getting a dog anytime soon, so this was a big deal.

On Christmas Eve, we were making gingerbread cookies and enjoying a general festive day. My recollection is fuzzy, but time stood still when Nils said, "Hey Addie, if you tell us you love us, we'll get a dog." I backed him up right away and said, "We will. We will totally get a dog."

Oh, it was chaos and mayhem. I thought Addie's head was going to explode with internal conflict. Anders was begging her, "Addie, PLEASE! PLEASE say it!" Aani was saying over and over, "I love you guys! I love you!!" Addie was like, "I don't know. I don't know if I can", with a huge smile on her face. The power.

She and Anders went downstairs to practice, where she reportedly said it to the wall. She came upstairs with a note that said something along the lines of, "I guess I'll say I love you I guess." We told her it didn't count.

Back downstairs to practice. She came up a few minutes later and acted like someone who was having a stroke. "Ah luh-luh-luh-luh-luh. Ah-luh-luh-luh-luh-luh-luh." That went on for quite sometime. About 45 minutes into this we got a little squeaky, "I luh-luh-luh-luh-luhv you?" while she was hiding behind the couch. We were like, seriously child, if you want a DOG, you need to say, "I love you mom and dad" clearly and with volume, and it must not be a question.

At one point I muttered to Nils, "What are we going to do if she doesn't say it?" At any rate, she eventually said it to our satisfaction (after approximately an hour of painstaking stammering). She let us know that there better be a dog under the Christmas tree the next morning, but we one-upped her. We got all the dog stuff out and showed them a picture of our puppy.

This is our puppy. Her name is Pip.

They were confused. Then Anders said, "Wait, so you were going to give us a dog for Christmas anyway? ADDIE, YOU GOT TRICKED!" I covered his mouth and gave him a look of death, but it was too late. Addie was like, "We were getting a dog for Christmas? Oh. Okay, whatever." So that was that. They were excited and couldn't believe it. Ava looked really worried. We asked her if she was excited to get a dog, and she said, "The doggie's going to eat me?" After we assured her that the dog won't eat her, she was happy.

We got to take the kids to meet Pip the day after Christmas. Addie really was happy and just loved holding those puppies. 

In closing, I'd just like to say that manipulating your children is WRONG! But in this case, it was glorious to hear the words "I love you" out of Addie's mouth. And no, we never expect to hear them again. We're pretty much okay with being really, really liked.

Proof that we do stuff sometimes and take pictures

Nils built a bathroom in our basement over the last several months. We decided to bite the bullet and finish it.  The most glorious thing about having this bathroom is that we no longer have nightly scream fests from 4 kids  fighting over the same sink in our comically small kids' bathroom upstairs. Anyway, good job, Nils. 

The kids have taken to all sleeping in the same room lately. They've always sort of done this on and off, but we're a little surprised that all of them still do it, even the older 2. This night, Addie slept in Ava's bed and was happy as a clam being all scrunched up. Aani and Ava slept all night together in the recliner. Anders found a spot on the floor and was quite cozy.

 This was on election day, when I took these two to the school to vote and stood in line for over 2 hours. By the time it was my turn to vote, they were so frazzled and I was ready to go nuts. I can't even remember who  or what I voted for in a lot of the cases, I was in such a hurry to get out of there. 

 Halloween: Aani was a witch-bat, Addie a witch, Ava was Elmo, Anders a zombie soccer player. Because what else does a 9-year old boy want to be besides a zombie?

 Nils was a nerd for Halloween. I couldn't stop laughing. He's really, really good at it.

 I requested tickets for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert in, oh I don't know, September or October. I completely forgot about it, and then when I got an official looking envelope in the mail from the Church, I was a little bit scared that I was in trouble. I was thrilled to see that I got tickets! We got them for the Sunday morning concert. It was spectacular. Honest to goodness, those Mormons know how to put on a production. I cried more than once, and I've decided I have a disorder that makes me cry during live performances. It doesn't matter what it is, apparently; it can be a play at a high school, a program at the elementary school, or an amazing concert. I will cry, and I will try really hard to hide the fact that I'm crying. 

The best part of this morning was that Nils had a valid excuse to not go to meetings. 

You should go.