Tuesday, October 30, 2012

iPhone 5 Review (by someone who doesn't care)

A couple weeks ago I got an e-mail from Nils telling me that he bought my iPhone, as if that's all I had been talking about for weeks. Now, I could get into a long commentary about Nils and his tendency to be a bit of a phone slut, but I won't. Suffice it to say that he is.

We have had Android phones for the last year or so- the Samsung Galaxy SII. I liked that phone for a long time. It worked well, the battery lasted a long time, the screen was ginormous, it had Swype, a back button, etc. Then there was this horrible day in July when this mandatory system update happened on the phone, and it all went to crap. The phone was butt-slow and the battery power all but disappeared. If I had the 3G or 4G turned on, the battery would drain within 30-60 minutes; same with WiFi. It drove me nuts charging the phone 2 or 3 times a day, so I just stopped using the internet on the phone all together. Speaking of charging,  it took 2 or 3 hours for the phone to charge all the way- you know, so I could use it for a half hour.

Now, I don't know or care about all the specs on these devices, and when people start talking about gigs and whatnot, my eyes involuntarily glaze over and I start thinking about brownies or Sherlock. But what I do care about is things working. When things don't work, I start getting angry, sweaty and resentful. That's how I felt about my Galaxy SII for the last 4 months. I just think that when you pay hundreds of dollars for something, it should WORK and not be a piece of poo within a year.

Nils is very up to date on his Apple products, and he makes sure to inform me of the latest iEvents, but most of the time I'm not listening- but it's not by choice, I swear. I've known that for the last year or so that he was a little bit ashamed of his Android phone, but I'm proud that he actually kept the same phone for a year. But as soon as that one year contract was up, boy, he was at the Sprint store getting the iPhone 5 as fast as his feet could carry him.

So, here's my review of the iPhone 5: It's a lot like my Android phone when it worked. The differences I notice all the time are the lack of a back button, which I miss, and lack of Swype, which I also miss. I also hate the auto correct. Sometimes I spell words wrong on purpose, dang it. Stop correcting me all the time, iPhone!

I like the size, it's small enough that it fits in my pocket without being uncomfortable. The speakers are good, and the headphones it comes with are actually usable, as opposed to all other Apple headphones which were made for mutants. It's also really fast, so I can actually use the internet and not want to beat the phone with a baseball bat. The battery is pretty good, and it charges really fast; within an hour or so. I like it, but don't take my word for it, because I really don't know anything about this stuff.

The thing that drives me crazy about all these iThings is that they're obsolete within a few months, so people like my husband are never satisfied with what they have, thus resulting in constant iUpdates which I don't listen to, and plans to sell the "old" so he can get the new. The last part of this funny video sums up my feelings pretty well.