All told, the shingles experience has left me fairly unscathed. I looked like I had been punched in the eye all last week, and confined myself to the house so that A) I wouldn't expose any babies or senior citizens to my disease, and B) so people would stop doing double-takes at me. One night I couldn't take the solitude anymore and we went out for burgers. There were many a double-take. I think I frightened a few children. Overall, though, my shingles are crusty and almost gone, and I'm on the mend. I would like to thank the anti-viral medication for its effectiveness. Thank you, anti-viral medication whose name I'll never pronounce correctly, or remember for that matter. As far as I know, shingles are brought on by either stress, or a compromised immune system. Since I'm fairly certain my immune system isn't compromised, I've been trying to pin down what stressful event could have triggered shingles in me.
So, I have this baby. She's really cute and chubby, and she is obsessed with me. I may have mentioned this once or twice. She really is. When she wakes up in the morning or from a nap, she screams like she's being sacrificed until I go get her. Once I'm holding her, she's perfectly fine until I set her down or attempt to divert my attention anywhere else. When she's awake, all is peaceful and calm if I am either holding her or sitting on the floor so she can crawl on me or sit on me. If I open a newspaper or magazine to read, she sits on it. If another child needs me, she pulls them away from me and cries until I pick her up. When I'm trying to cook dinner or wash dishes, she stands on my feet and tries to squeeze between my legs, screaming all the while.
The other day I was in her room, trying to engage her with her toys. All of the other kids came in, all needing something, all talking to me at the same time, hungry, wanting me to play with them, wanting to see if friends could play, etc. Ava was crying and crying because I was not giving her my undivided attention and I thought in that moment, "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" and I made the stress connection.
I think Ava gave me shingles. I love the girl like crazy, but I'll tell ya what- sometimes all I can do is endure and pray she isn't like this forever. She better be the best teenager ever.
Other January thoughts:
Anders turned 8-years old last week. Addie is turning 6-years old tomorrow. I'm turning 33 two days after that. It's bananas, I tell you. I've decided something pretty major, and I haven't told anyone- not even Nils. Deep breath in... I don't think cake is my favorite food anymore. I realized this when I was making Anders' cake for his party, which was 2 days after his birthday. But on his actual birthday, my mom made cupcakes for him, so I had already had my cake fix. I wasn't that excited about eating more birthday cake. I get to make another cake for Addie's party tomorrow and the enthusiasm is low. The thought of eating cake for
my birthday makes me want to gag.
WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME? Why have you forsaken me, cakey old friend? Maybe it's me that has changed. Maybe it's the birthday overload. Maybe it's the January blues plus the birthday overload. Maybe it's better this way. Maybe I should shut up about it.
I'm never one for new years resolutions, because I feel like they're just a set up for failure. That's just me, I'm sure they work for others and I couldn't be more happy for them. Anyhoodle, I have one goal for this year, and it's to run a half-marathon. I feel like my body is almost recovered from childbirth, my joints and ligaments aren't as loosey goosey and I've been able to run longer distances lately without getting injured. I've been finding a lot of solace and inner chi through running longer as of late. There is one in May at Thanksgiving Point, and I think I'm going to shoot for that one, since it's close to our house and I could run parts of the route without having to travel far. So let it be written, so let it be done.
I'm going to stop typing now. Bye.
