August photo dump

So much going on. We're trying to stay afloat and will probably survive it all. Here are some pics, but we've mostly forgotten to take pictures of life lately.

Aani, Ava and I drove a few miles down the road by the lake with Nils so he could fly his drone. Then he lost his drone, and it turned into a whole thing, but this picture is pretty cute. 

Our nephew Stockton returned home from his mission in Brazil. He's a good one. His 2 grandmas kissing him. 

Ava and cousin Oakley are the babies of their families, so we call them "the babies". We went to dinner at Tucanos and called out "Baaaabies!" and they came running. Pretty dang funny. Oakley is 14, so it's extra great.

Nils' 40th birthday happened to be on the same day as his sister's memorial services. We canceled the party we had planned for obvious reasons, and I asked our friends and neighbors to heart attack him while we were gone. They did not disappoint! We are blessed with a pretty fantastic community. Our bishop and his neighbor pulled together a surprise "cake eating" the next night for Nils, so it all turned out awesome. Nils felt very loved.

Aani spent an afternoon at work with Nils, and he asked her to write 3 pieces of advice for him on his white board. Not too shabby, Aani Flaani. 

The kids started school, hallelujah! This summer about killed me. Anders 10th, Addie 8th, Aani 6th, Ava 3rd. I do love them. 

I started my job! I was so nervous. It's going fine, but I must admit it's quite an adjustment after being home for almost 16 years. Everyone is very nice and I have no complaints.

Nils started a new job this week, too! This is major, people. We thought he'd be at the Church for forever, but along came O.C. Tanner out of the blue, and straight up offered him an opportunity that seemed stupid to pass up. This pic is of Nils and Dave, his cohort at the Church. It is very bittersweet leaving his church job- it has been an enormously huge blessing for us. O.C. Tanner better deliver the moon, y'all.

Nils almost went blind last weekend. He was in excruciating pain and couldn't stand the smallest amount of light. Turned out he had a corneal ulcer, which is actually considered a medical emergency. We found an eye doctor who was open on Saturday and saved the day with antibiotic eye drops and a magical numbing drop. It turns out that changing your contacts every two months is dangerous for your eyesight. #lifelessons (Nils still isn't sold on the idea.)

I have a new physical ailment, too! Nils isn't the only special one! My femur has been aching non-stop for almost 2 months. I finally went to an orthopedic doctor last week since I'm a genius, and lo and behold, guess who has a stress fracture? What caused this remains a mystery, but I'm glad to know I'm not crazy. No more jump squats for awhile, I s'pose.

This has been a month, indeed. Peace the heck out.

Loss

Events and circumstances are much more far-reaching than we understand. This month has been full of all of the emotions life has to offer.

Nils' little sister, Harmony (Gwen, as she preferred to be called), passed away on August 2. She has a husband and 4 young kids. She suffered for many years from depression, and I don't think we'll ever understand what she endured. It's just so sad. There is much to be said, but I don't think this is the place to say it. We're comforted knowing that she's not suffering anymore, but not having her here on Earth is a massive loss for so many people who knew her and love her. I hope she is able to better understand now, and I know this experience will make us all kinder and more sympathetic and empathetic to those who struggle.

This is the only picture I took on the day of Harmony Gwen's memorial service. All of these people knew her from the time she was a toddler in Connecticut. This was a Goshen Ward reunion of sorts under the worst circumstances imaginable. I didn't grow up with them, but Nils did, and I know all of them; these people are legends in my book.

When I was 19 and spent a week in Connecticut at the Rasmusson's house, Harmony was gracious enough to give me her room to sleep in. She was a bridesmaid at our wedding. She was always kind. She lived in Orem/Provo for awhile after high school, and was always willing to babysit Anders and Addie so Nils and I could get away for a rare date. As we all got married and scattered across the globe, it became more difficult to keep a close relationship with her; she and her husband, Ben, have been in the army for the last many years, and have never been close geographically to us. However,  she would go out of her way for years to hand-craft birthday cards for every member of the family and send them. All of my kids got birthday cards from Aunt Gwen. It was no secret that she struggled with deep depression. There were peaks, deep valleys, and some mole-hills for her, and I don't think any of us allowed ourselves to think she would leave us. We will always miss her, and I can't imagine that this will ever feel normal. We don't know what is next for her hubby and kids, but we hope to be a source of love and support them however we're able. We love you, Harmony Gwen! We truly miss you.