Loss

Events and circumstances are much more far-reaching than we understand. This month has been full of all of the emotions life has to offer.

Nils' little sister, Harmony (Gwen, as she preferred to be called), passed away on August 2. She has a husband and 4 young kids. She suffered for many years from depression, and I don't think we'll ever understand what she endured. It's just so sad. There is much to be said, but I don't think this is the place to say it. We're comforted knowing that she's not suffering anymore, but not having her here on Earth is a massive loss for so many people who knew her and love her. I hope she is able to better understand now, and I know this experience will make us all kinder and more sympathetic and empathetic to those who struggle.

This is the only picture I took on the day of Harmony Gwen's memorial service. All of these people knew her from the time she was a toddler in Connecticut. This was a Goshen Ward reunion of sorts under the worst circumstances imaginable. I didn't grow up with them, but Nils did, and I know all of them; these people are legends in my book.

When I was 19 and spent a week in Connecticut at the Rasmusson's house, Harmony was gracious enough to give me her room to sleep in. She was a bridesmaid at our wedding. She was always kind. She lived in Orem/Provo for awhile after high school, and was always willing to babysit Anders and Addie so Nils and I could get away for a rare date. As we all got married and scattered across the globe, it became more difficult to keep a close relationship with her; she and her husband, Ben, have been in the army for the last many years, and have never been close geographically to us. However,  she would go out of her way for years to hand-craft birthday cards for every member of the family and send them. All of my kids got birthday cards from Aunt Gwen. It was no secret that she struggled with deep depression. There were peaks, deep valleys, and some mole-hills for her, and I don't think any of us allowed ourselves to think she would leave us. We will always miss her, and I can't imagine that this will ever feel normal. We don't know what is next for her hubby and kids, but we hope to be a source of love and support them however we're able. We love you, Harmony Gwen! We truly miss you.