Addie and Aani have been in gymnastics/tumbling since August. Initially, they were going down the street to a little storefront for tumbling. It took 3 minutes to get there and was right after school, before dinner. In December, the owner decided to close it down, so I signed them up for gymnastics at the Lehi Legacy Center. It takes about 15 minutes to get there, and it's from 5:45-6:45 on Monday evenings. The girls have really seemed to like it, and I've been impressed with the program there. The classes are full to the max, and unless you already have a spot it's almost impossible register, so you have to take what you can get.
The downside, obviously, is that the timing of the class is horrible and it pretty much ruins Monday nights for dinner, FHE and other togetherness time. We'll either eat something really fast before we leave, or, the majority of the time, wait to have dinner until 7:00 when everyone is home. Then we have FHE after dinner, which is sometimes at 8:00- way too late.
Nils and I generally switch off taking them, but last night I was just not feeling like taking my turn. Nils got home from work and looked tired. All the kids were outside playing hide and seek in the cul-de-sac, having a grand old time, and we decided to ask the girls if they were okay skipping gymnastics. Both of them were more than fine with it. Aani said, "That's fine, I didn't want to go anyway."
As we were eating dinner, I asked the girls if they LOVED gymnastics. Aani said, "No." Addie held her thumb horizontally, to indicate she was neutral on the matter (classic Addie communication method). I asked them if they would be super sad if we decided not to do gymnastics anymore. "No!" in unison. I was pretty surprised. I really thought they liked it.
So this is my dilemma. We want our kids to have opportunities to develop talents, be involved in things, and feel like they can participate in activities outside the house with confidence. The trouble is that doing some of these things is a huge sacrifice to family time. I told the girls that if they LOVED gymnastics, we were more than happy to keep doing it. That goes for any activity for any of them. If they absolutely love it and identify with it, we will do what it takes to make it happen for them (within reason, obviously). But if they're doing it because everyone else in the neighborhood is doing it, or because it sounded like a good idea in the beginning or whatever, then I can't justify the sacrifice. Our weeks are jam packed with something every night. We don't have any evenings when we can just go or do whatever. Between homework, scouts, activity days, bishopric stuff, lessons, date night, school performances and other miscellaneous things thrown in there, we feel spread pretty darn thin.
How do you balance it? How do you find happiness in the crazy? We love just spending time at home with our kids, and we're not very happy when there isn't any time for it. I guess I would like to know if the kids not all being in different activities at any given time is going to be detrimental to their future success in life. Pretty sure they're not going to be professional athletes, dancers or musicians, but I do want them to have happy memories of their childhoods. I expect that those are going to be made both ways- at home and by doing things they love outside the home. Just not sure how to make the two work together.
3 comments:
LOVE this post! This is something I struggle with continually, and not that I have all the answers but these are my thoughts as of late. I don't do things because everybody else does them. For instance, Ethan doesn't mind sports but surprisingly isn't super athletic. he is much more of a "nerd" an is happy to read or take things a part of write fantasy stories, no joke. That being said we want him to be healthy and give him opportunities to play outside and have just started doing races as a family, our first last week. BUT, right now the last year we have done NO organized sports for him because we know it would be just one more thing to add to the calendar. Anna LOVES dance so we do that once a week, I do think piano is important so I force them to do that because I see music as something you can use to serve others with and bring joy so I feel like to me that's more important that sports etc. I'm sure you very well know that piano players anymore are in super high demand and I want them to contribute in that way if they can. That being said I have learned like you mentioned that if it isn't still somewhat convenient like not having to drive them too far then we do it. If I have to drive way far and wait etc. it makes me stressed and them stressed and is just not worth it for any of us. Our piano lessons just ended and the relief I felt and not rushing off to piano directly from the bus stop throwing snacks at them and telling them to "EAT!" while we rushed to piano was so stressful. I know now when we start again I need to find a closer option or a time that works better for us or it just isn't worth it.
Like you I want to expose the kids to different things and in a perfect world they would all be amazing little musicians etc. BUT more importantly I think family time comes first and I know way too many people that just pack their schedule and even enjoy "bragging" about just how busy they are. Admittedly once in a while though I do feel a bit weird that we aren't doing sports, or that this summer my kids aren't doing swimming lessons etc. I think it is our time and culture that we feel like we HAVE to overschedule our kids just like we think that having them do flashcards and watching baby einstein will make them smarter, when back in the day (I sound like a dork) they were happy with a box and turned out great. I know that there have been many talks given by people I admire that say we need to do less and schedule less. I think in the end we will have better memories, and stronger family relationships.
Wow, I'm sure you didn't want to know all that but it is such a struggle to know how much etc. That is one reason I struggled so much having a 5th baby thinking how is it fair to him to just pack him around to all the kids different activities etc. So we decided a baby is more important than events, so we are just taking some of the lesser important things off our plate, and I refuse to feel lesser or guilty about that. Good luck with whatever you decide. I think you're a great mom! (and I'm always uplifted and entertained by what you write)
I wrote about this same thing in 2009.
http://brownology.blogspot.com/2009/02/let-them-play.html
We don't do extra activities until 2nd grade. Then, if they ask, I usually concede to one activity per person at a time. Sounds like a lot but they don't always happen at the same time. When Parker had basketball, Sydney wasn't doing anything but jumpteam at school. Now Syd is doing soccer but Parker isn't doing anything extra. Carpooling with friends on the team helps as well. Plus church activities and piano. We're 3 kids in to it now and it's working...for now. It is such a challenge and changes as the dynamics of the family changes. And be sure to make time for your own hobbies as well, like Book Club!!!
Good post. I like it. It was interesting to read it. Great thank's author for sharing…
www.paperwritings.com
Post a Comment