No more running por moi (sads)

Warning: LOTS of groin-related talk coming up. Also, I know this isn't interesting to anyone but me, and all the people I've whined to over the last year and a half bout this. Probably not even to those people.

I can't run anymore. I can run really short distances, like from the car into a store because it's freezing, but I can't go on long runs these days. It's fine. It's only taken a year and a half to realize this and be fine with it. Here's what happened:

One day in the spring of 2015,  I woke up and I couldn't walk without tons of pain in my groin. There was no traumatic injury or event that I can recall to cause this pain. The only thing I can link it to is putting in our yard, digging trenches for sprinklers, etc., but I really don't know. Anyway, as the day progressed, I thought maybe my uterus was falling out. I waited a few days to see if it would improve, and it did. A couple of weeks later, I went for a run, and felt like my uterus was falling out again. (Spoiler, it's not.)

Ever since then, I can't run without feeling pain in my groin or pubic bone area. I know, it's embarrassing and awkward, but what are ya gonna do? I stopped running for a few months and things improved. On my birthday, which is January 14 if anyone wants to buy me a present, I decided I wanted to run. I ran 3 miles on the treadmill, and I walked like a cowboy for about 3 days afterward. What the heck?

Soon after this, Nils and I were invited to join a team for the Red Rock Relay, which was supposed to be in September of this year. I informed our friends that 1) I'm a pretty crappy runner, even when I'm not injured, and 2) I'm injured & having issues with my groin and pubic bone region. They insisted that they didn't care if I walked or crawled, and gave me the easiest leg of the relay. I figured I would have 6 or more months to figure out what was going on and get better, so I agreed to join the team.

I went to many a doctor; a GP, a sports medicine doc, and an OB/GYN. All of them said, "Hmm, everything looks normal." There were x-rays, ultrasounds, cavity searches (the uterus is high and tight!) and everything looks just great! So why does it feel like I'm being cracked in half? I went to physical therapy, where my inner thigh muscles were scraped. The PT said, "It shouldn't hurt so bad that you cry." Needless to say, there were bruises and clenched teeth for the 8 or so sessions of that. Nothing helped. The only thing that helps is not running.

In addition to the groin/pubic bone pain, my hamstring is chronically tight and painful on the same leg, and my IT band on the opposite leg gives me fits regularly. Because of the running! I trained for the relay all summer, and it was horrible. I never had a good run, I always felt like crap and had to run so, so slowly. A couple of weeks before the race, we were notified that it had been cancelled because not enough people signed up for it. I was disappointed, because I was planning on just muscling through the race and then never running again. The Red Rock Relay people made it so our team just runs another relay instead this coming Spring. The thought of going through all the horrid training again was unbearable, so I'm out. I haven't run since August, and I'm fine with it!

I can do lots of other exercises that don't cause injury. I've been enjoying lots of strength training and HIIT cardio. I love being done with workouts in about 30 minutes. I actually feel stronger now. My hamstring and groin still flare up from time to time, but not nearly as badly as before. Running has always been my go-to exercise. All those years of track ingrained in me that it's the best exercise. I think for some people it really is. There are people who are made to run. Sadly, this is not me. I've always, always been super injury-prone, and quite frankly, I've never been a "good" runner due to my turtle-like pace. I'll always enjoy the idea of it and respect people who do it. I've always loved a good run, so it's sad, but I also enjoy not walking like an injured cowboy, so there's that.

The lesson in all of this: YOU DO YOU. :)