My Friend the Freeway

On my way to the gym today, while on the freeway, the car in front of me swerved out of the way. Out of the way of what, you ask? Why, a mattress. I didn't have time to swerve, so I hit the mattress. It got stuck under the van so I had to pull over. Hmmm. Me, the kids, the freeway- it's all sounding familiar, don't you think? I got out to assess the situation, and the mattress was stuck under my van. Then I smelled smoke. I turned off the vehicle, got the kids out, and waited for it to blow up. Springs were everywhere. About 2 minutes passed and a highway patrolman stopped to help me. He assured me the van wouldn't blow up, so we all got back in, and he was able to shimmy the thing out somehow after about 10 minutes. Holy crap. I'm not driving anymore. Some moron is probably looking for their mattress right now- I hope they have to sleep on the floor for awhile.