How Thankful am I

Three people brought us food yesterday. I haven't had to cook in over a week, and it's AWESOME (sung opera style)!! Thank you, thank you, to all the wonderful people around me.

The kids love Ava. They think she's "so cute", and they think she's funny. "She makes funny faces! She likes it when I poke her in the eye! She likes it when I'm a half inch away from her face! She's asleep because I sang her a lullaby!"

I just love her little folded up body. I wish it weren't so cold so I could unwrap her more and stare at her cute little legs and belly. Speaking of Ava's belly, Aani saw her cord stump the other day and completely freaked out. She ran away screaming, "button has poopies!" and wouldn't come near Ava for an hour.

Before the baby is born, it's hard to imagine what life will be like with a new child in it, and how the family dynamic that you're used to is going to change, etc. I've been amazed every time that once my little baby is born, it's like I've known her (or him) forever. She's part of our family- she always has been and always will be.

Last week Nils was folding laundry and held up a pile of maternity clothes. He asked me what I wanted him to do with them, and I said, "Burn them." Then I sobbed for an hour. It hit me that this is it; I'll never wear those awful clothes again. It's such a weird paradox; being pregnant is miserable and it's not something I want to go through again. But that sacred experience of meeting your new baby makes everything more than worth it.

However, I love not being pregnant. And as life marches on, it boils down to a quality of life and a quality of parenting. We shall see how it goes with the four A's.