God Bless America

The 4th of July is a grand holiday. So many fun things to do, such a feeling of community. It's grand, indeed. I look forward to going to the parade every year. My brother Kevin and I love to yell at the participants of the parade. ESPECIALLY the politicians. Oh, what fun!

This is Kevin after yelling at Governor Huntsman. "Jooooooooon! Jooooooooooooooooooon!" Gov. Huntsman ran over and said, "Hey! How's it goin'?" kind of confused-like, like only someone who knew him would do that- but he doesn't know this obnoxious insane person, so he does his political duty, shakes hands, and runs away. You should know that Kevin is an attorney; he just never acts like it. We also yelled at Mark Shurtleff (the attorney general) and Gary Herbert (the Lt. Gov.). It's funny to yell at them by their first names. They actually turn around and give such a confused thumbs up. So political. Such a mockery. Mysteriously absent from this year's parade were Orrin Hatch, Bob Bennett, Chris Cannon, and other local congressional representatives. What, are they too good for Provo's Freedom Festival? Sheesh.

The real story of this year's parade, however, was the Pre-Parade Parade. This is the parade before the parade, just in case you missed it. It was hilarious.
DISCLAIMER: Please don't read this if you love Star Wars enough to dress up in costume and walk in the Pre-Parade Parade. You'll be offended, and the last thing I want to do is alienate anyone. Honestly.Certainly this gentleman, or should I say Looooooord Vader, knew it was going to be a thousand degrees, right? I hope his life support system includes air conditioning.

This storm trooper was my favorite. He had a really impressive strut, but by far the crappiest costume of the lot. I wonder how many hours it took him to sew it. Wait, is that a KKK mask? Doesn't the Star Wars club have costume quality standards?

This is the most controversial pick; he was Nils' fave. He says this guy was a special case. I thought we should only post pictures of those wearing masks, so as to protect their anonymity. Nils strongly disagreed. I worried that this guy might be someone's cousin or brother. He just didn't care. So, to this picture I have no comment. Just that I love the Jedi tail.
Who's this freak show? Patriotic, that's who!

Yes, I know I'm going to hell. That was established long ago.