Weariness

It's Sunday night, 8:37 to be exact. Both kids actually got to bed on time tonight. That's rare these days. Last night Anders got to bed at 11:30 because we were at my mom's house tiling until about 11. He actually slept until 9 this morning, but when he came into our room to get us, I could have sworn it was 7. Nils and I are actually looking forward to school starting, because we think it will give our lives a sense of structure and normalcy again. Who knows if we're correct, but I just think it's tragic that we think school is better than the lifestyle we have now. This has been the most un-relaxing summer ever. Cry me a river. This next weekend we're going to brave a trip to Logandale, NV, where Nils' parents live. York and Luly & kids will be there. We need to introduce them to Addie, and we need to meet their Tiago. It should be fun, but I'm sure the heat is going to get to me. We also need to stop in St. George to see my Grandma, who probably isn't going to be around much longer. She's 91 and has lived a good, long and hard life. It'll be sad, but we all know she's getting ready.
Tom and Jamie came over for dinner tonight. It was fun. It's kind of nice to stay home on a Sunday evening. I like going to my mom's house, too, but we've been going there every Sunday to eat since we moved here. That's a lot of Sundays.
I just want to say that I love my little kids. They're a lot of work, but they're so much fun. It's so awesome to see them turning into little people. Anders is really starting to structure sentences correctly, and he knows the names of most things. If he doesn't know something and I tell him, he remembers forever. He thinks about things, too. He'll be playing with his blocks or something and he'll start talking about something from the day before, or he'll start singing a song he learned in nursery. Those moments are rewarding and help me feel like I'm doing an okay job. Anyway, I just love them and I want to be a good mom to them. I want them to know that I love them. I'm also thankful for Nils. He totally works his butt off every day for us. I've always really respected his work ethic. He's a very good husband, he tries really hard to be understanding of me and to do things to make me happy. I'm lucky that way. I think I'm going to try to read some Harry Potter, since it's relatively early and I have nothing to do! What a lucky girl I am!

Drained

I just don't have any energy left. I was really looking forward to a summer full of family outtings, personal projects, knocking off the to-do list and even some much deserved relaxation. As fate would have it, this summer has filled itself up with projects, deadlines, and work that wasn't on my list. As for the relaxation- HA! No such thing. It's been a good summer none the less, but it wasn't what I had planned. I don't know why I ever volunteered to tile Kathy's floor. In my usual ambitious spirit of "I can do anything in an hour"- I decided that the floor would take about four days but then I'd have a few days to hang out and do fun stuff. That was three weeks ago. As soon as Katrina is out of the bath, we're going over to Kathy's house again. We spend WAY too much time over there lately. Poor little Anders. His limited vocabulary includes such phrases as "Daddy go to work now?" and "Daddy tile floor.. Gramma's house." He also has gotten to watch his Busy People and Dora Videos about 800 times since that's one of the only things he can do to amuse himself while Katrina and I are working on the floor and other things.
Just before my trip to Kansas City, the owner of our company asked me to be in charge of a project that involved making about 60 pens that were perfect so that they could be photographed and put in our new catalog for the Fall. That's fine and great but I basically was given two weeks to do all of that. I was (and am) still tiling so that was kind of a first priority. So today I woke up at 3:30 AM and went to work to make pens. A coworker was there so that really helped but by noon I was out of energy. I came home and Katrina looked like she was ready to go hide in a closet somewhere and not come out until the kids were old enough to take care of themselves. We're both just pooped and we're really hoping that by the time we go to Las Vegas this weekend, the tile and the pens will be all done. It would be so nice. Then school starts in just a few weeks so that's wonderful. We're actually thinking that school will be a relief, though. At least it's a pretty regular schedule and this semester I'll only be at school for a few hours a week. That should leave me just enough time to embark on projects that are way out of my capabilities and devote my nights to laboring over some other huge andoverwhelming set of tasks. OK- I'm done whining.
On a less "chained down to my life" note, Anders and Addie are as cute as ever. Anders is speaking really well and he can be quite funny. He's so sweet and sometimes he comes up and rubs my back or tackles me and it makes me feel quite loved and lucky (even if I have to experience those emotions while in the fetal position because he doesn't understand that daddy isn't a trampoline). Addie is just so darn cute and she gets laughing and smiling sometimes and she's just totally adorable. Katrina is looking better than ever. She's totally hot and she's really getting in great shape. She's been so understanding of all the work I've had to do and she's an incredible mom. I feel very lucky to have my li'l family. They're the greatest thing in my life and I couldn't be happier with them. Speaking of which, Addie is sitting on my lap and is fussing so I'd better go make her a bottle. Rock on.

Some Summer This Is!

Katrina's been doing all of the writing here so I thought I'd post my two cents for a change. It's been a while and I've been busy, as you can tell by Katrina's entries. The tiling still isn't done but I took a night off tonight. Katrina and I need some "relaxation". She's at the gym and I'm trying to get a computer ready that was recently sold on eBay.
My Kansas City trip was normal schmormal. Nothing too exciting but it was good to meet some of the fellow woodturners out there. What is woodturning you ask? See Nils Creations for some of the stuff I do on a wood lathe. It's a lot of fun.
So I still have to cut all of the outside tiles for the kitchen, eating area and part of the rear entrance at Katrina's mom's house. I'm pretty tired of tiling. I've spent around 70 hours at it so far and I need a month off. I feel bad for Katrina because we were looking forward to spending more time together that week but it just wasn't happening. She took it really well though and stayed with me at her mom's house a lot of the time. It's just nicer to work when I know she's near by. I really missed Anders and Addie on my trip. Tonight Anders was climbing all over me and laughing and playing with me because "Daddy's not at work". He's such a good little boy. Addie was laughing, too and being as cute as ever. I'm a pretty lucky guy to have such a good little family.
So next week we're packing up the ol' mini van and driving to Logandale, Nevada, where my parents live. My brother and his wife and two kids will be there so we're pretty excited to see them. Harmony, my youngest sister is coming with us so it will be good to hang out with her too. I hope we don't melt but I think we will. It'll probably be about 240 degrees each day.
I just remembered that I saw a guy with the coolest Mullet in Kansas. It was the perfect mullet with the wind blown short haired look in the front and sides and long wavy locks all the way down his back. He also had on a black sleeveless T-Shirt to expose his wicked tattooage and some mean biker boots. He was at the table across from us at the Chinese Buffet and I don't think his kids were in any TAG (talented and gifted) classes at school but he seemed like a nice enough guy. That was probably the highlight of my trip. Sad, isn't it?
I feel tired in general lately and I could use a week of sleeping til noon and eating lots of Cherry Garcia and Taquitos. A coma would be great, too. I wonder if you feel refreshed after being in a seven day coma. I hope to find out.
Here's a recent picture of Mr. Man doing what he does best... fishing. He's in a nose picking stage so we're earnestly trying to break him of the habit but in the mean time I thought I may as well just photograph it. I'm going to do other stuff now, I guess. I think I'll read Harry Potter some more. That should last a good six minutes before I fall asleep. G'night.

-Nizzle Foschizzle

Single Parenting

Nils gets home tonight from his trip. I'm ready. Yesterday I took Anders and Addie to Salt Lake to Li'l Matt's birthday party. (Thanks for letting us crash your party, Emmy!) It was really good to see Emmy and BreAnne. I loved the breastfeeding discussion. It was very refreshing! I missed you guys! The VMS days were good days, indeed. When we got home last night, my children had a stench. I managed to dump them both in a bath and get them to bed relatively early, which was good. Tom and Jamie came over to do laundry and chat. It was fun, it was nice not to spend the evening alone. I got to bed late, though, and Anders woke me up at 7:24 this morning. Seriously, that has to stop. Can't he at least sleep until 8? Is that too much to ask? Church should be interesting today. I wouldn't be that worried about it, but I have to play piano in Primary. I think I'll ask my mom to come over and watch Addie so I don't have to juggle her and the piano playing. Hopefully Anders will cooperate and go to nursery without too much trouble. Nils should be home by 9 or so, I told him about 14 times last night not to miss his flight. It irritates me so when that happens. Anyhoo, I'm really looking forward to having daddy home.

What a Night!

So last night was the first night in weeks that Nils has spent at home. It was nice, considering that he left today for the big KC! We got a quart of Cold Stone to celebrate. I started reading the new Harry Potter book last night, and got about 70 pages in, but Nils took it with him on the trip. It's so good so far. I'm so excited to finish the rest of it. Addie slept in her crib without waking up until 4:00 this morning. That is a serious record! Then at 8:00, I was fast asleep until I heard a little voice in my ear saying, "Downstairs, Mommy?" I opened my eyes, and there was a little blonde boy before me. Anders has been getting out of his bed a lot lately, but he's just started coming out of his room on his own after naps and when he wakes up in the moring. It's a bit unnerving, especially when I'm unconscious! He's such a funny boy. I just got back from the gym and I stink, so off I go to shower.

Another Week

Another week begins. I'm excited for this week to be over. My mom's kitchen floor isn't finished yet, but Nils had to back to work today. The plan is for him to work all day and then work all night on her floor until it's finished. On Thursday, he's leaving for Kansas City until Sunday. He's going to a woodturners trade show for Craft Supplies. I hate it when he goes on these trips. I think I'm a crappy wife or something, but I hate it when he's gone. I know Anders is going to miss him, too. That aside, I hope the week goes by quickly and we don't have too much trauma here at the Rasmusson abode. I'm sure we'll get through it all!
So, Saturday was an interesting day. I had a Pampered Chef party, and I knew it would be a little weird, but boy oh boy. It's a really long story. My host told me there would be at least 11 people there, plus three husbands, so she wanted me to make double of everything. I got there 1 1/2 hours early so I could do most of the work before people came. There were 6 people there, including the host. What a crowd! 6 is a fine number, but they were so very odd. There was really no chemistry between me and them. They just sat there and looked at me. I had to physically hand them catalogs, because they wouldn't get off the couch and walk to the table to get one. We had to physically serve them their food for the same reason. Speaking of food, I made two huge calzones and 20 sundaes. The calzones were polished off. Not too many of them tried the sundaes because they involved mango, and none of them had ever eaten a mango. I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!! IT'S A PEACH WITH A TWIST! Mangos are delicious, not scary! One lady told me I burnt the tortilla shell that the ice cream went in. Just for the record, it wasn't burnt! As this lady was leaving, she was holding her grandson and trying to get him to say, "Up yours!" I don't know if it was directed at me or someone else, but I thought it strange nonetheless. I'm just glad it's over. I think I left a couple of my things there, though. I was in a hurry to leave. That means I have to go back, and that's just unfortunate. I have another party tomorrow night, and I think it will be much better. I could use a little redemption.

Our "Vacation"

This week, Nils has the whole week off of work. Technically. He's not working at Craft Supplies this week, but he's still working his butt off. He and my mother came up with a brilliant plan to remodel her kitchen this week, thinking it would only take 2 or 3 days. Ha! It's Wednesday, and it's nowhere near completion, of course. And, there's no turning back now, because she has no floor. He plans on laying tile. We went to Home Depot on Monday and purchased all of the supplies, all 3000 lbs of them. It will look nice when it's done, but there goes our summer vacation. Woo-hoo. I've been there for most of the days this week, but I think today I'll stay home and try to have a somewhat normal day. Anders hasn't napped all week, and he's pooped. Last night when we got home at 8:00 he was dead asleep. Nils put him on the couch and he said, "Thanks", and was dead to the world. We finally moved him to his bed around 10. He usually doesn't sleep anywhere but his bed unless he's sick. It was really funny watching him position himself while he slept.
I got another calling on Sunday. Primary Pianist. I'm pretty bummed about it. It's not a bad calling, it's just that I don't get to go to Relief Society. This saddens me. The other crappy thing is that I "get" to keep my other calling for the Midweek Activity Committee. What a lucky duck I am! That's also not a bad calling... actually, it kind of is. How can I phrase this delicately? I really don't see eye-to-eye with some of the other girls on the committee, which is really stupid, because it's a glorified playgroup. This shouldn't be that complicated, but there are some who are making it so. It irritates me. I was in charge yesterday, so we swam and ate ice cream and there was a great turnout. I think the simpler the activity the better, but some of the others stress out about making it this big freakin' deal. Like I said, it's really stupid, so I'm done talking about it.
Well, I have some exciting news. No, I'm not pregnant, silly! I've been trying really hard in the past few months to lose my baby weight. I never lost the weight I wanted to after I had Anders. I came pretty close, but didn't quite succeed in time. I'm happy to announce that I'm pre-Addie weight, minus 6 pounds. I gained 31 pounds during my pregnancy, and have lost a total of 37. I don't really look at it that way, though. I lost 21 pounds the week after I had her, so I see it as losing 16 pounds in the last 3 months. Now don't get me wrong, I'm no Mary-Kate! I'm still waiting for my boobs to disappear, but I don't think that will ever happen. I'm pretty sure I'd have to die and start decomposing for that to happen. But I digress. Anyhoo, my goal is to lose another 14 pounds. I'll be pre-marriage weight then. Wouldn't that be fabulous? It's really all about weight training, I'm telling you. I didn't believe it, but it's true. I've also modified my diet quite a bit. I still eat normal food, just not as much of it. I always told myself that I could eat whatever I wanted because I was working out. But I wasn't losing any weight, either. Funny how that works. I'm just happy that my pants fit.
Anders is squealing, so I must go.

A Note to My Wife

Since nobody reads this blog except Katrina, I feel it's a good place to write you, Katrina. It's 6:26 AM and I've got a couple of minutes before I have to leave for work. I just wanted to tell you how I feel about you. You've volunteered for the least appreciated yet most admirable job of being a full time mom. Yours is the hardest job in the world and you don't get lunch breaks or paid time off. But you do the best job of anyone I know. You love our kids so much and you work so hard to raise them right and to teach them good principles. Your love for them is evident and even as trying as a two year old boy can be, you still manage to keep your patience and teach Anders each day. Addie is a happy little girl because she knows she has such a great mom. You love her so much and it shows. The way you talk to Anders and Addie and the way you play with them makes it very clear how terrific a mom you really are.
And then there's me. I have to be gone so much for work that you get stuck at home all the time. Your parenting job that should be shared with me on evenings and weekends often gets stuck to you while I work. I just want you to know that through the five years we've been married, I've come to love and respect you more than ever. I realize that I'm a dope and I screw up a lot. I repeat mistakes, I'm lazy a lot, my brain filter sometimes doesn't work, I make faces that make you question my views about you and I'm just a general dill weed sometimes. Despite these things, in my heart of hearts I love you more than anything. I want you to be happy and I will continue to try to make you as happy as you can be. You deserve the best and although I have made my share of mistakes, I want to the best person available for you. I want to be the best me. You deserve it.
So thank you for all you do. Thank you for sticking with me through my trials and me faults. Thank you for loving our kids so much. And thank you for loving the gospel. Your testimony is evident and it strengthens me daily. I love you more than anything and I feel so fortunate to have such an excellent wife at my side. I know that you're under-appreciated in many ways so I just wanted to tell you that I really do appreciate you. I like you, I love you, I respect you and I cherish you. I just hope that I can improve each day to be the best person I can for you.
I'm not sure when you'll read this but hopefully it will put a smile on your face for at least a moment. You deserve it.

With all my heart,
Nils

In My Head

I have a lot going on in my head. Not necessarily in my life, but in my head. There are a lot of good things going on right now, and there are also a lot of difficulties. I'm having a hard time making sense of it all. Therefore, this will probably make no sense to anyone else. Not that anyone else will ever see this. Maybe Nils will take a gander, but probably not. This has been a really hard month. I have been sick for most of June and so has Addie. Just the mere fact that I haven't felt well for a month really compounds the trials of life, I think. Our money situation has been a complete disaster, and we haven't been able to figure it out. I finally sat down a couple of Saturdays ago and went over every penny we spend, at what time in the month it is spent, and how we can fix it. I thought I had it all figured out. Yesterday Nils got paid (5 days late, thank you very much) and 300 dollars was missing. It turns out that our credit union, which we are normally in love with, screwed up our car payment and took it out twice last month, and they took out another half of it yesterday. Huh? I'm all for paying bills off early, but when you can't feed your children... VERY frustrating. I called them and they fixed it, but I was a little irritated. Hopefully this month everything will be taken out at the correct time and the correct amount will be withdrawn. I'm starting to see some set backs of having everything withdrawn automatically. I feel really out of control. It's super depressing when the paycheck is deposited and literally the same day, 3/4 of it is gone. Even our tithing is automatically withdrawn, so there's little satisfaction in not writing the check and handing it to the bishop. I suppose it's better than forgetting for 5 months and then having to write a check for $900, though. We had to set everything up to be automatic, because when I had babies my brain fell out too, and I forget to pay bills.
Speaking of babies, Anders was quite difficult this evening. I won't get into it because it's boring and I don't even want to re-live it, but he cried and screamed from about 5:00-9:00. It was wonderful. It's times like this that I feel inadequate as a mother. Does anyone else feel this way, I wonder? How is it possible that this little boy who I'm completely in love with can drive me insane at the same time? I really want him to be happy. I want him to know how much he's loved. It's difficult to convey that when he screams for 4 hours. When I put him to bed I was pretty frustrated, but I read him a story and told him that I loved him. He threw his binky on the floor and then cried about it. Ahhh, motherhood.
On Monday Nils and I went to Lagoon by ourselves. It was really fun. The 4th of July is the best day of the year to go to Lagoon, but don't tell anybody. It's not crowded at all because people are busy doing other things. We didn't wait long at all for any rides. We got there about noon, and by 4:30 we had done everything we wanted to do and went home. We both got fried.
I have been busy lately trying to book Pampered Chef parties. I feel like a big loser for doing this, but I'm getting pretty excited. I've got 3 booked for July, and one for August so far. My friend Beverly told me she would also do one in August, so I'm stoked about that. I'm really excited to get free stuff. I think I'm more excited about that than getting a paycheck. I really like all of my Pampered Chef stuff, so I don't think it will be a hard sell. I think it's also really good for my mental state. It gives me something to think about besides nap time and poo, and it's challenging me to step out of my comfort zone. And, I'm really all about the free stuff.
Well, I guess I should fold laundry now. My favorite.